I was a big user of the phrase 'I just had a baby, leave me alone'. I used this phrase 6 months after I had Lily! It wasn't baby weight anymore! It was just me eating crap and not exercising!
When our daughter was about 3 months old, we moved out into our own place and just ate crap. We have a servo the next street over from us and I have become quite a regular there. Chips, chocolates, iced coffees, you name it. So, I started taking Lily for a walk in the pram along the broadwater near our house (it's so beautiful to walk along there) every day. Being so little, Lily fell asleep most times or was just content watching the world so it was easy to walk 4kms every day because she was happy to join me. But as she started to get older, she started wanting to not be in the pram and was getting bored easily, so walking became a bit of a challenge. When I was walking every day, I started noticing a change, I started to fit into clothes again and was feeling good. But then I stopped. I don't even remember why. I hate that I did because I would probably be at my healthy and happy goal weight by now.
I got tired of feeling fat and gross (because of myself and how I saw myself), so I decided this year to join a gym. And for a while there, I was going great! Going nearly every day and feeling so good about myself. Again, I stopped. I don't have my license so relying on other people to take me was what I had to do. I needed someone to be watching Lily whilst I ducked down to the gym and it just got too hard to work in with everyone else. So for the past few months, I have rarely even seen the gym. And I hate it.
I have noticed that, being a stay at home Mummy, I eat all the time. I eat when I'm bored, when I'm stressed, when I've had a hard day, whenever! I am just constantly eating. Enough! It's time to stop! I can see myself gaining more weight and I don't even want to go near scales right now. So, time to get on the diet and exercise wagon again. And stick to it.
A dear friend of mine has actually decided herself that she wants to lose 20kgs - exactly the same goal as me. And it's because of her that I am encouraging myself to get into it again. She was a very big reason I started to become content with myself - or at least try to, but stand me in front of a mirror and I will pick myself to pieces regardless of if I just told you I like my body or not. She always oozed a confidence about her body that I envied, but to know that deep down she wanted to change also, it kind of gave me the push I needed to realise I need to do something about my weight instead of just talking about it.
So here I am, telling you all my thoughts and feelings and hoping you will all follow me on this journey to a happier and healthier me. I want to be fit for my little girl, I want to be perfect for my partner (although he is constantly telling me I am gorgeous) and mostly, I want to look in the mirror and smile at my figure every day, not some days - every day. I will bus it to the gym if I have to and walk every sunny day and I will stop eating crap. It's time to cut the crap (quite literally) and begin this journey.
I was a few months pregnant in this photo and to this day, I envy how my body was here.
I thank you all for your love and support on this.